Inspiration

Have you ever had those days that you are just knocked down onto your knees in prayer because there really just aren't any words or anything else that seems right to do? Today was one of those days for me.

I have these two friends, Brooke and Brandon. They are friends of mine from high school. Brooke and I have so many fun memories together and Brandon was one of my first friends when I moved to Kentucky.  You know those people that everyone wants to be friends with? Brooke and Brandon are those people...they are so wonderful! Brooke got pregnant this year and found out very quickly that their baby had something called anencephaly which is a fatal neural tube defect. Due to medical reasons, Brooke was induced early (30ish weeks) on Thursday and in Brooke's words, Briar was born at 338 am to be with Jesus.  I have seen a few pictures that she has posted at her blog and they are precious and sweet. We know that Briar is with Jesus, but as a mommy, it is sad to hear and see something like this. I can't imagine something happening to Liam.  If you have time, read through Brooke's blog. She blogs about her pregnancy and her faith in the Lord during this tough time.

What an inspiration. She has just faced a huge trial and has her trust 100% in the Lord. I pray that my faith is this strong all the time and that my strength comes from the Lord. Last night, I was packing a few boxes and organizing the closet getting ready for a showing tomorrow and song came on on my itunes. It is called "I Have to Believe" by Rita Springer. It is an AMAZING song that we sing at our church Sojourn sometimes. I started to cry just thinking and remembering that God said He can move mountains and that He is our strength. Here are some lyrics:

I have to believe, he sees my darkness

I have to believe, he knows my pain
I have to lift up, my hands to Worship
Worship his name
I have to declare, that he is my refuge
I have to deny, that i am alone
I have to lift up, my eyes to the mountains, thats where my help, it comes from

He said that he's forever faithful
He said that he's forever true
He said that he can move mountains
If he can move mountains
He can move my mountain, he can move your mountain too

I have to stand tall, when the wind blows me over
I have to stand strong, when i'm weak and afraid
I have to grab hold, a hold of the garments, the garments of praise

He said that he's forever faithful
He said that he's forever true
He said that he can move mountains
If he can move mountains
He can move my mountain, he can move your mountain too

I have to sing praise, when the hour is midnight
He unlocks these chains, that bind up my soul
my sin and my shame he has forgiven, and made me whole

Wow. If you don't own this song, get it. It's wonderful.
If you can, pray for Brooke and Brandon. Pray for healing and for strength.

A (not so really) cuddly weekend

Liam woke up Friday morning with a bit of a cold. Runny nose, watery eyes, the usual stuff kiddos get from playing with other kids and being at the park everyday. I thought nothing of it until I myself started feeling bad too. Oh man. I never get sick. So as the day progressed I passed it all off on allergies but didn't really feel like doing much. So after Liam's super short nap (he couldn't breath from his stuffy and/or runny nose) we went and rented some Disney movies. I know...I need to buy them. But Disney movies are expensive! So...we rented Finding Nemo and Toy Story and got a bag of popcorn. On our way back home, I had visions of us cuddled up on the couch, watching Nemo, eating popcorn and possibly falling asleep. We got to the house, popped our popcorn and settled on the couch with juice, popcorn and blankie. Let me just say that Liam is EXACTLY like his daddy. He can not sit still for anything! Nevertheless, he LOVED Finding Nemo inbetween playing with toys, snacking on popcorn and jumping up and down on the couch. Pictures coming soon :)

More words.

Today's new words:

Car, Ellie and Yes.

What!? Every time I hear him say them, it's unbelievable to me that he is saying REAL words. What a big boy!

Things are kind of tough around here. The best way to explain it? I'm sad. Really sad. I miss my husband and a semi-normal life. I am sad for Liam, that he is missing out on time with his daddy. He was SO excited when Justin came home last week and we all had such a great week and weekend doing lots of fun things-going to the park, Hubers Orchard and spending time with Gramparents. Saying goodbye on Sunday was the hardest it has been yet, with me not being able to stop crying for at least 3 hours. And then the crying returns sometimes after Liam goes to bed. It was so wonderful to have Justin home, I just can't wait to be together in our new home.

Thankfully, I have great friends. One who willingly babysat Liam on Sunday night so I could go to the Rascal Flatts concert with another great friend who took me and cheered me up. I am thankful for the friends who willingly hang out at my house with me at night so I don't have to try to find a babysitter. I am thankful for my husband who is in North Carolina working hard for his family. I am thankful for all of the people who are praying for us and keeping their fingers crossed that our house sells quickly and that our family can be together soon. I am thankful for a supportive family. I am thankful for things like Skype that allow Justin, Liam and I to see each other in between visits. I am thankful for the friends that are housing Justin in Durham.

I know that the Lord has a plan. I was reminded of that a lot today. A good friend of mine had this quote on her facebook this week: "Ultimately our gift to the world around us is hope. Not blind hope that pretends everything is fine and refuses to acknowledge how things are. But the kind of hope that comes from staring pain and suffering right in the eyes, and refusing to believe that this is all there is." I'm glad I read that when I did. Spoke right to my heart.

Goodnight all...gotta get some good rest so I can keep up with my chatterbox child tomorrow!

New words.

Today as I was cleaning up from dinner (pizza, veggies and fruit..mom of the year right here folks haha!) I heard Liam in his room taking books off of his bookshelf. This is one of his many favorite things to do. All of his books are on the bottom shelf so he can reach them and he takes them off two or three at a time. He used to just dump them and then be on his way to something else or maybe flip through his favorites. But now, he flips through them and then hands them to me to read. So anyways, I put down what I was doing and went into his room. As I walked in, I heard him making a noise and couldn't figure out what it was. Then I realized he was reading this book called "Jungle Babies" and was on the snake page. Every time I read it I make a snake noise and poke at Liam and he was MAKING THE NOISE! I couldn't believe it! We have tried for months and months to get him to do a dog noise but he never does. So just to make sure, I re-read the book to him and asked him what it was and he made the hissing noise again. Ahhh...so awesome. This weekend he also started to say "na" for banana...as a matter of fact, he got so excited in the grocery store today when he saw them he was SCREAMING it. "Mama! Na! Na! Na!" Hahaha. I love it! And tonight when we were reading that same book, there is a monkey holding a banana and he pointed it out saying "na!"

It is so fun to be in this next stage of him talking and not just babbling anymore. Justin comes home tomorrow night for a short visit so I know that he will be shocked and amazed at how much Liam has changed. Liam was barely taking steps when Justin was home just three weeks ago and now he is almost running everywhere!

Where did my baby boy go??

Today was a day full of things that made me realize my baby boy is no longer a baby...

*We played at the park for over an hour this morning, going from the swings to the jungle gym and slides. He climbed all up and down everything on his own and needed just a little bit of help on the slides. He doesn't quite understand he needs to pick his feet up yet so his shoes don't stick.
*He walks EVERYWHERE. All of a sudden a few weeks ago, he just started walking everywhere. I don't even think I have his first real steps on video it happened so fast. Bad Mom right here.
*We went to the waterpark at the YMCA this afternoon with his best girl Olivia and her Momma. He still wanted to do the butt-in-the-air crawling on his hands and feet until I showed him he could walk in the water too. So then, holding my hand (insert heart sigh), he walked everywhere. And even learned how to crawl up a big netted thing up to the slides. So crazy.
*He uses a fork. I know, weird. But he really likes using it and is pretty good at it!
*He stole my Chick-fil-a milkshake tonight. I didn't let him drink a ton but when I did take it away he had the saddest face I have ever seen. Big pouty lip and everything. When I gave it back so he could have another sip (come on, what Mom can resist THAT face??) he laughed his bleating lamp laugh and smiled a big toothy grin! Basically, he was calling me a sucker.
*He does the movements from the book "From Head to Toe"...he especially likes the gorilla thumping on his chest.

Liam does millions of cool things everyday that make my heart melt...like when we say our prayers every night and he lays his head on my shoulder and then gives me a kiss. Seriously. Heart melting just thinking about it :)

Missing my guys

I am missing this guy a lot...

And this one...

At least I have Liam to keep me busy. Ellie stays under the bed 75% of the day and she does not like to cuddle on the couch like Toby does, so she is no help. I am continually praying that we get to be with Justin soon...being here alone is no fun but I am thankful for wonderful friends that keep me company.

Sweet puppies

Lately Justin and I have had a lot of conversations about these two cute little pups:

Ellie and Toby. My little four legged children. Ellie is the white and gold Shih Tzu who is 5 years old and Toby is the Yorkie/Chihuahua mix who is 4. Both are amazing, sweet dogs but we just aren't sure what needs to happen next. Since Liam has gotten older and is now extremely mobile, Ellie has anxiety according to our vet. She shakes a lot when she is nervous which is mostly when Liam comes near. She spends her days sleeping under our bed or sleeping in her bed in our bedroom. She rarely comes out now, unless Liam is sleeping or if he has snacks. She loves goldfish so she readily comes to hang out when it's snacktime! Toby on the other hand has become so much better with Liam but he will still show his teeth to him when Liam gets too close in certain situations. Other times, Toby chases Liam around, licks him and plays with him.

We are at a point right now that we just don't know what to do. We wonder if both dogs would be better off in new homes with older kids or to an older couple? I had a conversation with a good friend tonight who went through the same situation. Her and her husband had two awesome dogs but once the kids were born, they had to change something. They know where one of their dogs went but the other one they aren't sure. Both dogs are so dear to Justin and I but Ellie would be the hardest to give up. Thinking about it makes my eyes swell up with tears....oh man. What a tough decision. I know having kids doesn't mean you can't have pets but I feel so bad for my dogs...I can't handle walking them both with Liam by myself, I don't have as much time for them now and I just feel like they aren't enjoying their little puppy lives like they should be. What are your thoughts? Have you been through this situation before? Leave a comment for me :)